But not just any Brazze Best—this thing was a relic. You have to understand, the Brazze Best was the flagship aluminum-alloy target pistol from a few years back. Reliable, accurate, cheap enough to lose, pretty enough to keep. But this one looked like it had been left in a swamp. It was covered in a thick, orange, crystalline residue.

“I thought about returning it,” Brazze said in the now-viral video, “but then I thought—who deserves a challenge? The pizza guy who braved the storm.”

It had rained for three consecutive days. The back gate of Brazze Estates wasn't actually a gate—it was a "natural egress," which in reality was a dirt service road leading to a freshly dug koi pond expansion.