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And yet—and here’s the psychotic part—I kept watching. We all do. Because the second a Wilhelm scream hits or a legacy actor winks at the camera, my lizard brain squirts happy juice. That’s the gonzo horror of it. We’re not fans anymore. We are We devour the past, shit out a tweet about how it’s “problematic,” then beg for the next remake of Scarface but make it a musical.

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So here we are. The final tally: 47 hours. Sixteen reboots. Three originals that got canceled while I was watching them. One genuine masterpiece ( The Bear season 2—go figure). And a migraine that feels like a Snyder Cut exclusive. And yet—and here’s the psychotic part—I kept watching

You are watching the story eat the storyteller. That’s the gonzo horror of it

Walter Cronkite is dead. Long live the chaos agent.